Dating or courting a man you like quickly becomes meaningless if it doesn’t lead to a marriage proposal so how do you get him to propose to you?
Have you ever had a guy propose marriage to you? Like ever?
Do you really want to be married to the love of your life?
Most women dream of finding or being found by Mr. Right. They fantasize about dating marrying and having a dozen babies for him.
Yet too many women fail to realize this dream. Okay so a dozen babies isn’t really a cool idea but I’m sure you catch my drift.
So how do you make it happen? How do you connect with the right one for you? If you feel like you are with the right one, how do you get him to propose to you?
How do you get men to actually ask you to be their wife like their very lives depended on you saying “yes!”
In reality, achieving this goal is simple and hard all at the same time. It actually all depends on one person; You.
It has a lot to do with who you are as a person.
What you believe about life, what you believe about your sexuality as a female.
What you believe about men and this one is important.
What do you believe about men? How do you relate with them?
Do you see men as the enemy or do you see them as potential partners in the achievement of your goals?
That leads to another point. Do you have goals?
I mean other goals other than getting married and having 12 kids.
Do you have career goals? Self-development goals, spiritual goals?
Do you have financial goals? I don’t mean the one that involves you getting married to a billionaire and living rent free of him for the rest of your life.
Getting married to a rich guy is cool and I have nothing against it especially when you find true love in the process.
Like heck I’m certainly hoping my daughter marries a rich guy who loves her and whom she loves.
But that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about a financial goal that actually involves you making your own money.
You can start making money from scratch or from someone else’s money. It doesn’t matter.
It’s actually sound planning to have a plan to make your own money and not just depend on a man.
In certain ways it’s harder to make money as a woman in a man’s world.
In some other ways it’s actually easier for a woman than for a man. You just have to focus on your advantages and leave the disadvantages alone.
What are your expectations on marriage?
If you perceive and expect marriage to be a fun adventure then chances are you will look forward to it and attract that kind of marriage to you.
If on the other hand you expect marriage to be an unsavory endurance walk because you believe all men are no good then you will subconsciously sabotage men’s efforts to court, woo and marry you.
Do you feel or believe that you will never be able to get him to propose to you? If you do then you are harming yourself and your dream of a happy ever after.
So how do you get the man you fancy and are dating now to pop the question to you?
If you haven’t met him yet how do you attract him into your life and get him to propose?
For starters, you would do well to start early.
Too many young women are wasting their youth fleeting away their best years in the name of having fun.
One of the things you get to learn about life as you grow older is that life is serious business.
Life is not all about one party after the other or about dating 100 men before you are 25.
Life is about doing the things you need to do early and focusing on what’s important now so you can have a life of fun and fulfillment tomorrow.
Of course you should definitely have fun while doing that but never take your eye of the ball.
Take Serena and Venus Williams for example. They started early in the direction of their dreams and so they achieved early not late.
Michael Jackson’s musical genius is another example of what’s possible when you start early.
Now these are examples people who achieved professional goals because they started on time but the same principle of getting started early works if you want to get him to propose and marry early too.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to say you should start dating too early or start having sex or marry yourself off the wrong guy because you want to be married early.
What I mean to say is that there are certain things that lead to certain outcomes and the earlier you begin doing the right things then the earlier you will begin reaping the right rewards.
I believe it’s called the law of cause and effect or seed time and harvest.
So how do you get him to propose to you?
Here are a few pointers to help you get the ball rolling that direction.
Start Early
Set your mind on your goals. Do you want to be a lawyer? Do you want to be married by 28? Do you want to be through with College by 26? Do you want to get him to propose to you in the next 12 months?
Decide what goals including relationship or marriage goals you want to achieve and begin working towards them now!
The time to start is now so don’t waste precious time.
Years ago the kid sister of a friend of mine (I’ll call her Ann) was thinking about getting married.
Her fiancé at the time had proposed to her but she was in her third year in college (University) and was only 23 years old.
Her cousins who were older made fun of her and felt like she was rushing into marriage.
My opinion at that time was that love or marriage doesn’t come when we ask it to. It comes when it wishes.
I advised her to go ahead with the engagement.
I was bold enough to endorse her relationship because from what she had told me about the guy in question it was clear to me that they had a good one.
Now don’t get me wrong. They didn’t have a perfect one. They didn’t have a relationship void of disagreements and quarrels. They actually sometimes fought and almost broke up that wasn’t it.
So what was it about the couple that encouraged me to endorse the relationship?
What they had was compatibility, comfort and love.
When I say comfort I don’t mean they had a lot of money even though her fiancé was gainfully employed at the time.
What I mean is that they were comfortable in each other’s company.
They loved each other and could be themselves with each other.
Today they are happily married and have three beautiful kids.
Today her cousins who had made fun of her some 15 years ago are still single.
So tip number one if you want to get him to propose and marry you early is start early.
Be self sufficient
To attract men to engage and propose to you requires that you be self-sufficient. Remember, everyone one loves a winner and that includes men.
Women love hanging out with guys who are successful and so do men. Trust me, becoming an overnight success will certainly get him to propose to in record time.
I am not talking about broke ass gold digging brothers. I am talking about successful and wealthy men who like hanging out with females who are also achievers.
Make up your mind today to build yourself, to build your life.
Don’t make your life plan one of always being helplessly dependent on some other person to do things for you or to make things happen for you.
Don’t set yourself up to be a parasite in your relationship.
Determine today that you also will add value to your man and your marriage.
The less of a parasite you are to your man the more marriage proposal material you become to him and vice versa.
Have a life outside of him
In my book “Dating Rules” I write about the need to have a life of your own.
Men want to share their lives with you when they are in love with you but they also want to have time to reboot and reset.
Relationships and loving are beautiful but sometimes they can be exhausting.
Sometimes your man wants you to take time off with your “sane” female friends (the insane crowd are off limits to you) and have fun without him.
He wants you to have a job or a pet project you are working on.
He wants you to have things you would like to do and to actually go ahead and do them.
For example you could take up learning a skill like dress making or going to nursing school.
Basically he just needs you to be busy doing some stuff that shows that you are a living, breathing, goal oriented person who has some value inside of her that does not directly involve him.
The moment he recognizes that you have a life outside of him (of course one that doesn’t clash with your relationships goals) the more he will appreciate you as a person and want to make you his woman for life.
Do you really want to get him to propose to you? Have a life of your own.
Show him he’s important to you
Having a life of your own does not involve treating your man badly. It does not involve being rude or disrespectful to him.
That’s not having a life of your own. That’s being dumb and setting yourself up to be single for life.
Having a life of your own involves doing things by yourself that shows that you are a fully functional and happy human being outside your relationship with him and that’s super sexy to a man so don’t get it twisted.
If you are dating a man and you care about him then it’s just natural that you show him you care about him.
You certainly wont get him to propose to you by treating him badly so treat him well.
How much care do you show? Use common sense to help you adjudge what can be termed as sufficient care.
Showing him your care for him if he cares for you too will make him feel special and make him feel like you are committed to him.
This will make him also want to commit to you provided of course he loves you too.
Don’t ask him to propose to you
No matter what you do, don’t ask or beg him to marry you. Men do not like talking about marriage until they are ready for marriage; it has to be their idea.
Your job is to subconsciously condition him to pop the question not to pop the question yourself.
Our mission is to get him to propose not the other way around. Read my post, why you should never ask men out.
Have an attention deadline and stick to it
If you have dated a guy for as much as 8 months to a year and he’s still not acting like he wants to take your relationship with him down the aisle then it’s time to activate the withdrawal phase.
I know you probably are in love with him but if he doesn’t love you back or love you enough to marry you then it’s time to begin gradually (not the word gradually) spending less time with him and more time with other people.
If he is serious he will sense the change and make the required adjustments all by himself.
Don’t try too hard
Getting married is important if you are the family and relationship type but sometimes when you try too hard it backfires.
Take it easy. Don’t try too hard. Stick to tip number 2 above and you will be fine.
Remember, if it’s meant to be then trust me it will happen. You won’t get him to propose by worrying about it.
Be a happy person
Men are drawn to happy women. They are magnetized by them. Men find happy women irresistible.
Women are notorious for nagging and complaining so happy women are in short supply.
If you want to get more male attention and more marriage proposals than you can handle, be a happy person.
Spend time with people who have a positive mindset about men, relationships and marriage
What you believe about men, relationships and marriage will at some level define what those areas of your life will look like.
The things you hear and the information you take in with regard to these subjects will become your reality.
When it comes to love, relationships and marriage, get healthy role models and stick to them.
Plan to succeed in life without a man
Like I said at the beginning of this post, have a life of your own and have financial goals you make happen for yourself not one a man makes happen for you.
One of the major reason many women get into harmful and unhealthy relationships and stay there is money.
Many women date and marry men they know they should not all because of the financial benefits involved.
Having and achieving your own financial goals outside of men will make it possible for you to be objective about whose marriage proposal you accept because it would no longer be about survival when you have money of your own, it would be about love.
